Lord of the Rings in Verse
by cookie-crazy
Summary: This is well, what the title says, Lord of the Rings poetry style. That means people talk in verse, narrate in rhyme etcetera. Please RR
1. Prologue

A/N: Okay, this is a ripoff, I read a fanfic in the Les Miserables section named One Miz, Two Miz, Red Miz, Blue Miz and it was Les Miserables in verse. Apparently she ripped off another guy in the Shakespeare section with Green Eggs and Hamlet and that was ripped off god knows what. But enjoy, some of the rhymes are a bit skewed, for the sake of the rhymes, I had to change personalities a bit. (P.S. If you rap a bit with the words, it all makes sense)

Prologue

Long long ago in a faraway land

The Dark Lord Sauron hatched a terrible plan

He forged a ring that would rule the world

His forge was so hot his whiskers curled

Nine rings there were that were made for men

They ruled the White City and Amon Hen

Seven for dwarves, bearded miner beings

Shunned other creatures from all their dealings

Elven lords rule with three rings to heal

But a Ring was forged that all their fates would seal

There was a war when Isildur cut the hand

Of Sauron and therefore freed the land

But then, oh no! He got shot

And fell into a river that was filled with grot

Eight centuries on, it was finally found

Taken with Gollum into the ground

'Til a fat old hobbit name Bilbo Baggins

Got lost because he was laggin' (A/N: Behind the dwarves that is)

Bilbo won the Ring in a game of riddles (A/N: I know he didn't!)

And turning invisible, he then giggled

That began a whole new sequel

The story after "The Hobbit" prequel.

And that is where the story starts

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN

A/N: I know, I know. Pretty bad. But please review and give me feedback. Also, if you care to drop by my other fanfics, they're a bit better.


	2. Chapter 1: The Longexpected Partay

A/N: Hey! I like poetry, which explains why I'm back with this before I've even checked for reviews! Please read and tell me what you think.

Chapter One: When Hobbits Get Old Otherwise Titled, the Long-expected Partay!

****

Bilbo: 

Happy birthday to me
    
    I'm a hundred and three

Frodo: 

Bilbo, you're wrong

You've been here so long

You're turning senile

So once in a while

Listen. You should be in heaven

So remember once more, you're a hundred eleven

Bilbo: 
    
    Me? Senile? I beg your pardon
    I cannot be allowed to excuse this jargon
    **Frodo:
    **Be quiet. Today, Gandalf the Grey –
    **Bilbo:
    **Gandalf the Grey? Tis Gandalf the Gay!
    **Frodo:
    **He is coming today!
    Hooray! Ole!
    **Gandalf:
    **I am Gandalf
    Gandalf am I
    I make stupid hobbits die
    Bilbo, I think you should leave
    **Bilbo:
    **I will start to gripe and grieve
    **Frodo:
    **It's time to party! Hooray hip hip!
    I cannot drink another sip
    Rosie! Sam here wants a dance!
    **Sam:
    **No I don't! No way or chance! (A/N: I know he likes her! Just couldn't think of a rhyme)
    **Frodo:
    **Go on Sam
    Be a gentleman
    **Sam:
    **Oh no! Oh my!
    I would rather die!
    **Bilbo:
    **May I please, make a speech
    **Hobbits:
    **Go on old man, go and screech!
    **Bilbo:
    **Well you see, I'm not here
    **Hobbits:
    **Oh no! Oh no! He's disappeared!
    **Gandalf:
    **Shame on you! Stupid fool!
    **Bilbo:
    **C'mon, that was pretty cool
    **Gandalf:
    **You must go to Rivendell
    **Bilbo:
    **Not that old dump, I'd rather hell
    **Gandalf:
    **Just go you fool, but leave the Ring
    **Bilbo:
    **No, not the Ring! Can't I leave Sting?
    **Gandalf:
    **No! Now it belongs to Frodo!
    Now go! Bilbo, go!
    **Bilbo:
    **Goodbye dear boy!
    Have this toy!
    **Frodo:
    **A ring?
    **Bilbo:
    **Yes, The Ring
    **Frodo:
    **Oh…
    A/N: Yay! 2nd instalment up! Please review even thought it's bad. I would like feedback though.


	3. Chapter 2: Shadows of the Past

A/N: Hey! I'm back again! Even before anyone has reviewed! Boy am I persistent!

Chapter 2: What Should I do with this little piece of trash? OR Shadows of the Past

****

Frodo:

Look, the Ring, it's solid gold

****

Gandalf:

And evil too, so I've been told

Throw it into the fire hot

****

Frodo:

To do, or do not?

****

Gandalf:  
Shut up Frodo, don't be dumb

****

Frodo:

Look at the wizard's thumb (A/N: He's looking at Gandalf's thumb burn)  
**Gandalf:  
**Look at the Ring, what can you see?

****

Frodo:

Strange markings are puzzling me

****

Gandalf:

It's written in Mordor's language

Now go, go and pack your baggae

****

Frodo:

Baggage, what?! Where are we going?

****

Gandalf :

Rivendell, though it is snowing (A/N: I'm going movie-wise, but yeah, too difficult to go book-wise. I can try though)

****

Frodo:

Goodness gracious, I'll be damned.

Look, it is gardener Sam!

****

Gandalf:

Confound it all you Gamgee crook!

You are worse than Pippin Took

Tell me quick! What did you here?

****

Sam:

Nothin' much, you needn't sneer

Only 'bout a ring an elves

****

Gandalf:

For punishment, go clean the shelves

****

Frodo:

Gandalf, let him come with me

Let him come for company

****

Gandalf:

Hurry, go! Be not deceived

By hooded men on evil steeds

****

Frodo and Sam:

Farewell my home, the peaceful Shire

May you grow green and have no fires

****

Gandalf:

Now I must go. Duty calls

It is time for Sauron's fall.

A/N: *fanfare* Another one completed! I don't care if no one reads this, it's always there just in case.


	4. Chapter 3: Isengard

A/N: I'm baaaaaaack!!!! Nobody's reading this so fine! I don't care! I'll keep updating and I'll stay around the top of the list!

Chapter 3: Isengard OR Wizard vs. Wizard 

****

Saruman:

Gandalf the Grey, the hour is late

A seal has been put on your doomed fate

****

Gandalf:

Saruman, the Shadow is moving quickly

Why, Saruman, you look rather sickly (A/N: Coz he's pale)

****

Saruman:

I am Saruman the White!

****

Gandalf:

You look stricken with terrible blight

****

Saruman:  
But no more, I am of many colors

Look at the orcs, look at those suckers

****

Gandalf:  
What is this? A palantir?

****

Saruman:

Yes it is, no need to sneer.

The Nazgul are moving as Riders in Black

And the hobbit will be gone, boom swish hack!

****

Gandalf:

Frodo! He is near to death!

****

Saruman:

They will kill him with the Black Breath

****

Gandalf:

Frodo is in danger, I must warn him

****

Saruman:

Aren't you forgetting something?

****

Gandalf:  
What have I forgotten please?

****

Saruman:

That you have come to visit me

And now you're here, you must die

****

Gandalf:

Oh no, oh no! Oh me, oh my!

****

Saruman and Gandalf:

We are fighting

Fighting are we

****

Saruman:

I saw and conquered hee hee hee!

****

Gandalf:

Oh look, a moth, I'll send a message

Dearest Gwaihir, I must gain passage

To Rivendell from Isengard

I've got a Frequent Flyer card

****

Gwaihir:

What is this? A wizard's plea?

Oh my, this is puzzling me

Nonetheless, I shall go

Over grassy plains and snow

A/N: Another chapter finished! Please R+R!


	5. Chapter 4: The Journey Begins

A/N: HAH! Back to haunt you am I! Torment you everyday I will!

Chapter 4: Two's a Company, Three's a Crowd OR Why are you all coming with me?

****

Sam:

Mr Frodo, where are we going?

****

Frodo:

Somewhere Sam, with rivers flowing

****

Sam:

Look, it's Farmer Maggot's field!

****

Frodo:

I cannot submit! I cannot yield! (A/N: To going in that is)

Oh what the heck, let's get some shrooms

****

Sam:

I've et so much, I have no room

****

Pippin:

Frodo! Look! Look Merry!

****

Frodo:

We must get to Buckleberry Ferry

****

Merry:

I know a short cut, follow me!

****

Frodo:

It's a Black Rider! Flee, oh flee!

****

Sam:

Hurry Frodo! Run run run!

****

Ringwraith:

Oh how I wish I had a gun

****

Hobbits:

Thank goodness now that we are safe

Safe from the nasty black Ringwraith

****

Merry:

Alright Frodo, our destination?

****

Frodo:

Somewhere where there's beer inflation

****

Pippin:

I say that we head for Bree

****

Frodo:

Bree, bree? Indeed!

****

Sam:  
That is where the Big Folk lie

That's where they live and eat and die

****

Merry:

Very well, that is our destination

Bree, where there's beer inflation

A/N: Another short one! Wow! Am I cool or what?! Please review. Or read another one of my fics! They're HEAPS better, even if I do say so myself.


	6. Chapter 5: The Prancing Pony

A/N: Hi! I'm back again to haunt you! Sorry I haven't updated for AGES. Thanks to all those nice people who read and reviewed.

Chapter 5: The Prancing Pony AKA Never Give Hobbits Beer

****

Harry:

What've we 'ere? Four Shire hobbits?

****

Frodo:

No, in fact, we are rabbits (A/N: Sarcasm!

****

Harry:

You all look like you are phonies.

****

Frodo:

We're headed for the Prancing Pony

That is our destination

****

Pippin:

We hear it suffers from beer inflation

****

Harry:

Alright, alright, meant no offense

****

Frodo:

We may be slow, but we ain't dense

****

Merry:

Frodo, look! There's the inn

****

Sam:

The outside looks as black as sin

****

Pippin:

C'mon guys, let's go inside

****

Sam:

Look! They're big! Let's go and hide

****

Butterbur:

How can I help you, little masters?

****

Frodo:

Get us away from these large bastards (A/N: He means the men)

****

Merry:

Why don't we go grab a drink?

Good idea, don't you think?

**Sam:**
    
    That hooded man over there

Since we came, he's only stared

Frodo: 
    
    I think I will sing a song

Maybe you can sing along
    
    Oh no, the Ring slipped on my hand

Other Patrons: 
    
    What has happened? Who is this man?

Aragorn: 
    
    Mr Baggins, that was rash

Frodo: 
    
    Please don't turn me into hash

Aragorn: 
    
    Frodo Baggins, that's your name

Sam: 
    
    If you've 'urt him, you'll soon be lame

Aragorn: 
    
    Your stout heart will not save you, little hobbits

The shadow is coming, there's no way to stop it

Frodo: 
    
    What can I do? I connot leave!

Aragorn: 
    
    You will live, no need to grievez

Tonight you must sleep right here

Sam: 
    
    Here with you? I ain't no queer!
    **Aragorn:
    **It's for your own safety, Master Sam
    **Pippin:
    **It'll be a squeeze, we'll need to cram
    **Aragorn:
    **Still, however, you'll be staying
    **Sam:
    **No we're not. 'less you're paying
    **Aragorn:
    **I will pay so you'll be safe
    I'm a payin' so don't you chafe
    **Sam:
    **Alright, okay, we will stay
    But we leave at the break of day
    **Aragorn:
    **Now get some rest, little ones
    Tomorrow there is much travelling to be done
    **Hobbits:
    **We are asleep
    Asleep are we
    Asleep in the Prancing Pony in Bree
    


	7. Chapter 6: Night Falls on Bree

A/N: Hi. Um, can't think of anything to write here. Just R+R please?

Chapter 6: Oh when the wraiths, come marching in (A/N: Sorry, this isn't a chapter in the book so I couldn't find a formal title for this)

****

Frodo:

I am awake

Awake am I

****

Aragorn:

Do no move or you may die

****

Frodo:

I want to know what they are

****

Aragorn:

They once were men, from afar

But Sauron gave them Rings of Power (A/N: Well, he didn't really…)

And their fates were sealed in that black hour

Their greed blinded them and so they fell

Into darkness, into hell

Now they're the Nazgul, not living or dead

They'll find the Ring when all's done and said..

****

Frodo:

I am scared

Scared am I

I am scared that I might die

****

Ringwraith #1:

There they are, they sleepy-heads (A/N: Talking about the "hobbits")

There they are asleep in bed

****

Ringwraith #2:

Now we'll stab them, one two three!

****

Ringwraith #3:  
Cackling in glee are we, hee hee!

****

Ringwraith #4:

But no! Oh look! We have been fooled!

****

Ringwraith #5:

This is not very cool

****

Ringwraith #1:

Sauron will be quite displeased.

****

Ringwraith #2:

What do we care? He's a sleaze

****

Ringwraith #3:

Think of the pain. The long hours

****

Ringwraith #4:

Still, he's given us pretty cool powers

****

Frodo:

Aragorn, what's going on?

What's going on, Aragorn?

****

Aragorn:

Seems to me your beds have been stabbed

Seems that the Ringwraiths are really sad

I think that they've discovered our ploy

They know now they've stabbed a decoy

****

Frodo:

I am even more scared now

More of thee, thy and thou (A/N: I'm not sure whether he's talking about Aragorn, or the scariness of old words)

****

Aragorn:

We leave tomorrow at the crack of dawn

We'll run from Mordor's Shadowspawn


	8. Chapter 7: The Journey Continues

A/N: Hi again! Hmmmm, no reviews yet? That's alright. Just read but it's nice to get reviews you know. grins

Chapter 7: Let's go, let's go, to Rivendell we go (A/N: Well, firstly, the title's supposed to be sung to the tune of Heigh ho and also, I couldn't find a good formal title for this. Heh, sorry)

****

Aragorn:

Wake up, wake up, everyone

You have slept past dawn

****

Frodo:

Are you crazy?

Or are we lazy?

****

Aragorn:

Let's go! Hurry up! (A/N: Showing a little bit of Aragorn's impatient side there eh?)  
  
**Sam:**

But we still have to pack our stuff

****

Aragorn:

We have to go!

We're being too slow

****

Butterbur:

But oh my goodness me

My yard! I have no ponies!

****

Frodo:

But we need one! We have to leave!

****

Sam:

Until I see this, I won't believe

****

Butterbur:

I'll send Bob out to find a pony

****

Bob:

There's one belonging to Bill Ferny

But he won't sell it, uh-uh, no way

He won't sell unless you pay (A/N: Big that is)

What he wants is 12 silver pennies

****

Sam:

That thievin' scoundrel! That's daylight robbery

****

Aragorn:

All the same, we need a steed

And he's the only horse in Bree

****

Butterbur:

I'm so sorry, I'll take the cost

And compensate for the ponies you lost

****

Merry:

Why thank you Mr Butterbur

****

Butterbur:

Doing my duty, Mr Brandybuck, sir

****

Aragorn:

We must go, hurry up! (A/N: Yes Aragorn, we get the point already)

****

Bill Ferny:

Hey there Longshanks, 'sup?

****

Sam:

Ferny, remove your face from sight

Or you'll wish you had all right

****

Bill Ferny:

G'wan Fatty, you can't hurt me

Ow! Was that an apple which hit me?

****

Sam:

Waste of a good apple, I do reckon

****

Pippin:

We could've saved that for breakfast the second

Aragorn: Hurry up, we must make haste Sam: 

But remember, more hate, more waste


	9. Chapter 8: A Knife in the Dark

A/N: Hi…again. More?

Chapter 7: A Knife in the Dark OR Ow! Was that knife that struck me?

****

Aragorn:

We camp here at Amon Sul

Or Weathertop as known to fools

Now stay right here and do not move

****

Sam:

What?! We have not even a roof!

****

Aragorn:

I must go and scout around

In the air and on the ground

****

Sam:

But how can you? You cannot fly (A/N: SAM! He's not going to fly IN the air!)

****

Aragorn:

Don't ask who what where or why?

****

Frodo:

I think I will take a nap

****

Ringwraith #1:

Let's go get 'em, stab stab hack!

****

Frodo:

What are you doing? What is that smell?

****

Merry:

Sausages, tomatoes, bacon as well

****

Frodo:

Put it out, you fools, it'll be seen from afar

****

Ringwraith #2:

Look, I see a shining star! (A/N: Just happens to be those stupid halflings mucking around again)

****

Ringwraith #3:

It's a fire lit up high

****

Ringwraith #4:

Someone's cooking food from the Shire

****

Ringwraith #5:

C'mon, you think they'll give us some? Ringwraith #1: Something to fill our empty tums Ringwraith #2: They might well do so Ringwraith #3: So why are we waiting? Let us go! Pippin: Guys, look! Look over there Merry: Let's hope that they don't find the stair Frodo: They will want to take the Ring Sam: Not just the Ring, but everything! 

They will take my pots and pans

They will take whatever they can!

Frodo: We cannot let them, we must fight 

That's what we have to do alright

Ringwraith #1: I we could, may we please… Ringwraith #2: Have a tiny bit of cheese Sam: How 'bout no? We have none Ringwraith #3: You'll wish you had complied, my son Ringwraiths: The Ring, we have come to take Sam: No y' won't! You evil snakes! Hobbits: Help us Strider! Please come quick! Aragorn: I'll come with sword and burning stick Ringwraith #4: Oh no, it is the Dunadan ranger Aragorn: I will fell all foe and danger Ringwraiths: We are burning Aragorn: Now the tables will be turning Ringwraith #1 (Witch-King):  
But before I leave I'll stab the Bearer With a Morgul Blade that'll kill the wearer (A/N: Of the Ring that is) Sam: Strider! Help us! Frodo's been stabbed 

And the wound looks pretty bad

Aragorn: Begone you Ringwraiths, leave this place Ringwraith #1: C'mon you guys, let's go! Let's race! (A/N: What a good sense of fun he has) Aragorn: Where's the blade? Show it to me Frodo: It hurts, it pains, ouch owie! Sam: Strider, please, you have to help him Strider: This wound is one I cannot stem He must be taken to Rivendell 

This healing must be done by the elves

Sam: 

But Rivendell's three days away!

Aragorn: We either go or we will stay But if we stay, Frodo will die It's the truth, I would not lie Pippin: Well then, we must quickly hurry Merry: 

With all haste and with all flurry. (A/N: Sorry that Merry gets all the crap lines but I assure you, he'll get better ones soon)


	10. Chapter 9: The Ford of Bruinen

A/N: Hi again, sorry it's been so looooooong since I last updated, but I've been swamped with work. Anyway, I'll try to post as much as I can soon, enjoy! Oh yeah, and this chapter has been taken from the movie unfortunately, so you'll have Arwen instead of Glorfindel (sigh).

****

Chapter 9: The Ford of Bruinen AKA I'm taking him now!

****

Sam:

Strider, Frodo's going cold

****

Aragorn:

The poison's beginning to take it's toll

****

Sam:

But we must do something! He cannot last

****

Aragorn:

Sam, you know the plant called athelas?

****

Sam:

Though gardener I be, this plant of which I have not heard

****

Aragorn:

Kingsfoil it's called to the unlearned

****

Sam:

But kingsfoil is a terrible weed

****

Aragorn:  
Yet that's the plant we really need

Hurry to find it, hurry, hurry!

****

Arwen;

What's this, a ranger in all a flurry?

****

Aragorn:

Can you help him, though he is dying?

****

Arwen:

He is sick, we must be going

The Nazgul will come here and all hope ruined

He must get over the Ford of Bruinen

He'll be safe in Rivendell

But first we must avoid the riders of hell

I will take him, no stopping me

I'm the better and lighter if we must flee

****

Aragorn:

Ride hard, don't look back

****

Arwen:

If I look back, speed I'll lack

Nora lim, Asfaloth, nora lim

****

Ringwraith #1:

Over there! The she-elf's got him!

****

Ringwraith #2:

Give him up or you shall die

****

Arwen:

If you want him come, I will not fly

****

Ringwraiths:

Give him up! Give him up!

The river's coming! Run run run! (A/N: Okay, so up and run don't exactly rhyme, but it's the best I could actually do)

****

Frodo:

I see stars. I think I'm dead

I see Gandalf inside my head

****

Arwen:

Frodo, please! Don't give in

Fight the shadow, you can win.


	11. Chapter 10: Many Meetings

A/N: Back again! Did you know that Sean Astin had a six-pack before he had to put on weight to play Sam?

Chapter 10: Many Meetings AKA I'm Awake! I'm Awake!

Frodo:

I am awake

Awake am I

My how time seems to fly

Gandalf:

You're in Rivendell, the House of Elrond

We thought that the Shadow had won

When you got here, you were beginning to fade

And you'd have been beyond our aid

Frodo:

Tell em quick, what time is it?

Gandalf:

Elrond says you must rest a bit

It's 10 o'clock, if you want to know

Frodo:

Time DOES pass really slow

Sam: Mr Frodo, you're alive! 

We were scared that you had died!

Frodo: I think that my stomach needs food Gandalf: Don't demand, you're being rude Pippin: Make way for Frodo, Lord of the Ring! Gandalf: Do not say such a blasphemous thing 

Especially not in Rivendell

Don't fill it with things that have come from Hell

Pippin; Gandalf's been rather cheerful these days 

What he said is what he says

Frodo: But where's this feast you're talking about? Gandalf: Your only concern is food, you greedy lout Frodo: But where's this feast you're talking about? Gandalf: Your only concern is food, you greedy lout! Frodo: Well well well, are you Gloin? 

The one who travelled with Thorin and Oin?

Gloin: Well done and well met, my hobbit friend 

Hobbits from the Shire are now quite a trend (A/N: First Bilbo and now HIM!)

Bilbo: Frodo, my lad, you've finally come 

Did you bring any decent rum?

Frodo: Bilbo! I missed you in the Shire 

Now my spirits are rising higher

Bilbo: Dûnadan! Why weren't you at the feast 

We all missed you, to say the least

Frodo: Strider, you seem to have a lot of names 

What's your real one? Don't play games

Bilbo: Aragorn, son of Arathorn, you should know 

That brain of yours really needs to grow

Aragorn: Don't be hard on him, he's been through a lot 

Out of him's been beaten all the snot

Sam: Beggin' your pardon sirs, but it's getting late

And you'll never get to bed while going this rate

Frodo: Good night Bilbo, I'll see you in the morning

When birds are calling and the day is dawning

A/N: Whooo! Finished at last! Oh yeah, the next chapter is going to be quite long. After all, the Council of Elrond chapter IS the longest one in the book.


	12. Chapter 11: The Council of Elrond

A/N: Okay, here it is. I can't think of anything witty (or pretty or gay) to write here.

Chapter 11: The Council of Elrond AKA What to do? What to do?

****

Gandalf:

Wake up, wake up, a council is held!

Phew! Frodo, you really smell

Don't you ever take a bath?

Clean yourself, or face my wrath

****

Elrond;

Strangers, friends, men and elves

Hobbits, wizards and dwarves that delve

You have been called here not by I

But to answer the threat of the Lidless Eye

They say that Sauron's regaining his power

He's rebuilt the Black Gate and the Black Tower

****

Frodo:

But who are all these people seated here?

****

Elrond:

They're people who have come from far and near

Here is Gimli, son of Gloin

****

Gimli:

If you pull my beard the curls WILL go boing

****

Elrond:

Boromir from the city of men

From the Steward of Gondor he has been sent

And elves that you haven't seen

Legolas, clad in brown and green

Erestor, my chief counsellor

Sent from Círdan, here is Galdor

And Glorfindel, elven lord

His aim is sure, and so's his sword

Frodo, now bring forth the Ring

For it is the answer to everything

Boromir: So THIS is Isildur's Bane 

Can I be going insane?

What of the sword that was broken?

Is that or the Ring a token

That doom is near at hand?

The sword is held by what man?

Aragorn: See the sword you speak of 

I know it's kind of tough

To believe what I say is true

I know it's difficult for you

Boromir: Who are you, and why 

Does this sword say that we'll die?

And the halfling forth that stood

Does that not signal Gondor's doom?

Aragorn: It is not the doom of men 

But yes, doom and great deeds are at hand

Boromir: 

But what business have you with the oncoming danger?

Elrond: He is Aragorn, chief of the northern rangers 

He is Isildur's heir

And Gondor's throne is his rightful share

But perhaps now we should hear the tale

That has come to us from the city of Dale

Gloin: True to say, about coming danger 

One night, at our gate appeared a stranger

He was clothed in robes of black

And evilness he did not lack

he said to Dain, "Tell me of hobbits

'Of how they're said to be skillful robbers

'For Sauron knows that you once knew

'A hobbit that could make good stew

'Tell us but this and you'll receive great things

'Including three lost dwarven rings"

But Dain replied, "I give no answer

'To rider, horse, man or dancer

'I say to you, not yea, not nay

'But I must think over several days"

The Rider said, "But make great haste"

Dain replied, "My time is mine to waste."

The Rider screeched and rode away

And none we've seen until today

Frodo: It's so sad that evil reigns And that many by them have been slain But what has happened to Gandalf? ** Galdor: ** Yes, and why is Saruman not here himself? ** Gandalf: ** Saruman has turned against us His insane greed has turned to lust His forces have joined with Sauron's hoardes Including those which were at the Ford (of Bruinen) ** Elrond: **But the question remains, what shall we do with the Ring? Coz it can't be destroyed by anything! (A/N: Getting a bit repetitive there Elrond?) Save the great mountain of fire and doom That's surrounded by darkness and gloom ** Frodo: ** But while we're here Let us hear Of what Gandalf has done and why For I think he's seen many things on the earth and in the sky ** Gandalf: ** Indeed, I fought with Saruman In the Tower of the White Hand But before that, I sought out Gollum In lands that were merry, sad and solemn And through this time Aragorn stood By my side while he could And when we found the slimy creature In his speech 'precious' did feature And so we took him to Mirkwood For the Woodland elves to do what they could ** Legolas: ** Alas! Alas! I must now tell Why I did come to Rivendell The creature Smeagol, called Gollum too Has escaped from us, it is quite true ** Aragorn: ** Oh dear, these words are ill indeed (A/N: Oh dear? Just 'oh dear' dear Aragorn?) How did he achieve this deed? **Legolas: ** Perhaps not because of unwatchfulness But because of over-kindliness On days that were fine and free We took him to his favorite tree And happily he played up there Without a fear, without a care Yet one day he stayed up high Playing word games with the sky But then at night, some orcs did come And our sentries were quite dumb They were killed and Gollum lost And we couldn't find him in snow or frost **Elrond: ** But still I ask, what about the Ring COZ IT CANNOT BE DESTROYED BY ANYTHING!!! (A/N: Yes, Elrond, we heard you the first time) **Galdor: ** I say we throw it into the sea Where no one can actually see (it) **Gandalf: ** But many things dwell in the deep Things that never ever sleep **Elrond: **So there's only one choice left Before we are accused of theft Someone must go to Mt Doom And must go very very soon **Frodo: ** I must admit, now it's quite clear What the hell I'm doing here Elrond, sir, I'll take the Ring **Sam: ** No sir, to you I'll always cling! (A/N: He didn't specifically say he was going on his own, Sam) **Frodo: ** Shush, Sam, you're making a scene **Sam: ** No, sir, I'm in the clean **Elrond: ** The Nine Walkers shall be chosen **Legolas: ** Alas! Alas! My lips are frozen! (A/N: He can't talk that means) **Aragorn: **You have my sword and Legolas' bow (A/N: How kind of you Aragorn, speaking for Legolas) **Legolas: ** You've dared to speak for me as so **Gimli: **You too may have my axe I believe you'll have to pay som tax **Frodo: ** My arms are beginning to break (A/N: I know they didn't literally GIVE him the stuff, but it's more fun that way) **Elrond: ** Oh go jump into a lake My head is beginning to hurt Legolas, why are you wearing a skirt? **Boromir: **I guess I'll come with you too Legolas, why are you wearing shoes? (A/N: Instead of boots y'know) **Gandalf:  
**Of course I will come along Maybe I should sing a song **Everyone else: **Help, help help! My ears they burn! **Gandalf: ** Now the tables begin to turn Lalala! Do you like my voice? Lalala! You have no choice! (but to stay and listen) Everyone runs away A/N: Whew! what a long chapter. But you know, the council of Elrond chapter was the longest in the book as well. Ah well. Just RR! 


End file.
